Friday, 1 March 2013

Who is liz jones rock star boyfriend?

Liz Jones is a female journalist in her 50's. She writes for the Daily Mail. She has had the twitterati in a tizz (so many puns, so little time...) for some time, by claiming to have a rock star boyfriend and refusing to identify him.

According to Liz, he is in his late 40's, early 50's and he is Glaswegian. He has 'piggy blue eyes' and wore leggings and filled stadia. The general consensus is that the person Liz was describing is Jim Kerr. A brilliant musician who was the lead singer in a group called Simple Minds in the 80's. It is well known that Liz had a huge crush on him in her youth, and she wrote about that.

There have been many online discussions and obsessive quests to uncover the mystery identity of the 80's rock star that Liz Jones claims to be dating. However the overwhelming opinion of late is that he does not exist, that he is fictitious. I'm afraid I do believe that myself. That the RS is fictional. However I believe that Liz was describing her fantasy, but that she has described and identified the lovely and talented Mr Jim Kerr as her secret rock star boyfriend and then when internet armchair sleuths identified Mr Kerr from her writing, she was forced to either say yes or no.

She said No. It isn't Jim Kerr. But I think it is. At least in her own mind. Nothing to do with the actual Mr Kerr, who I believe is happily settled down with a long term girlfriend, a Japanese lady called Yumi.

At this point I actually feel like apologising to Jim and Yumi for even mentioning them. I mean this is nothing to do with them.

So Liz Jones intimates that she is having a relationship with a rock star from the 80's. She describes him in enough detail for most people to work out that it is Jim Kerr. She is confronted. She admits that it is not Jim Kerr. She then goes on to write about the RS and add further detail.

In a recent article she quoted from an email that she claims to have received from the RS. Her choice of words was interesting here:

I see your shiny optimism [I thought at first he’d been about to type ‘face’!], your rigid lines, your extreme sense of right and wrong, and I think, she doesn’t want this. 

Note the context. She thought he was ABOUT to type 'face'. When she typed as him? Because surely this implies that it is happening in real time. If she had written 'I thought he had been about to say 'face' it would have read more naturally but she writes that sentence as though she is just working out herself what he is about to type rather than referring to something that has already been typed. Another clue into the strange and wondrous place that is Liz Jones' mind?

Maybe next time she will decide in advance what he is going to write and then she won't have to speculate as she's actually typing it out. The article itself In Which he bares his heart begins with an email. Supposedly from the RS but somehow written in exactly Liz Jones style of writing. She reproduces it in full (apart from one or two sentences that he apparently asked her to leave out when he gave permission for her to print his email.

I'm no mathematician but something doesn't add up at all here!

Interestingly, Liz says recently, that she has never dated, slept with, or kissed, a white man. So presumably this legging-wearing, stadia-filling, 80's rock star, who is Glaswegian, with 'piggy eyes', (close set eyes, a squint? what does that even mean?) is not white. Because she claims to have slept with him (kept her top on apparently), so how many 80's rock stars are male, not white, filled stadium's, have small or close set eyes, are Glaswegian and own hotels abroad and have adult children who have provided them with grandchildren.

I thought I was quite up to date on these things but I can't think of anyone.

And they've never been photographed together? Well once. I got emailed this by a person who swore me to anonymity. **



** I'm a compulsive liar. I did it myself in Photoshop.

20 comments:

  1. Ha ha ha! Brilliant! But what are those stains all over his shirt!

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  2. When was this taken?

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  3. optimus prime5 March 2013 01:51

    Did she really date him then?

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  4. Well I think you're right here. We're in Cooper Brown territory here. Just wishful thinking and pure fiction

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  5. Cooper Brown territory is exactly what it is! Good call

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  6. I'm sure Ive seen Liz Jones just outside of Richmond, North Yorkshire. She was with a man but I didn't recognise him. If definatly wasnt Jim Kerr tho. She didn't look as groomed as she says, she was wearing wellies and a stained jumper with holes in it. I look out for her now but I haven't seen her since!

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  7. It's made up... sorry! If the paparrazi can get pics of William and Kate undressed they can surely get pics of this uninteresting woman and her "mystery man". Jim Kerr is on the road again and unlikely to squash rumours as it's the only publicity he is getting to date...so the story goes on... and on... borrrre !!

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  8. As you say she's uninteresting, why would the paparrazi be at all interested in getting pics of her? She's not as high profile as Wills and Kate, it's only a small minority of generally bitter old women that seem obsessed with her.

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  9. The woman is a self-obsessed fruitcake, compulsive liar, proven hypocrite and how she was ever awarded Columnist of The Year is a total mystery to me.

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  10. I wish I hadn't looked now gutted it could be bs

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  11. I am really bored with her column now,what with dogs stress weeing,lame horses every week in fact It's a lame column

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  12. Surely Jim Kerr's publicist would have released a statement to deny such rumours,I mean would you want to be linked with the moaning mini that is Liz Jones

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  13. Liz Jones, is iconic and stands up for the middle aged woman with no voice, what if she has her fantasies, we all do, long may she continue to give 50Plus women like myself hope...would love to meet her in person..........................lonely and hopeless in w8.........................

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  14. Poor old self sympathy seeking liz, who hasn't got a Victorian antique pot to piss in but probably has a modern ikea one which quite frankly will just not do!! Oh my poor life whom and why has it gotten so bad, what have I ever done to deserve this life!..
    Liz grow up and stop pleading for sympathy go light a jo Malone candle and wrap your expensive moisturised bitter skin in an alpaca pashmina , stop blaming everyone else for your denial.
    You moan you have nothing yet you have more than any person could ever wish for.
    You go to great locations... Remember dearest Elizabeth you chose this lifestyle ..you!!
    Ironic seeing as that's the title of the magazine you spew your venom in.
    For once be happy for what you've got as god help us if for once you should never have anything go your way.
    This so called rock star your dating must have the patience of a bloody saint!

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  15. Liz is a true animal lover and for that I can forgive her anything.
    Her column entertains and interests just as it's supposed to. Who cares if it is not 100% true

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  16. At first was really interested and desperate to know who it was - but also now believe it has all been made up. I still enjoy reading Liz's column but feel a bit sad and sorry for her now.

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  17. I was fascinated by the sheer bitterness that drives this woman..you know already what her views will be on things so really she is something of a parody.
    The only thing I do think is admirable (tho a grudging respect for her ability to throw it all out there) is the love for animals.Theres certainly not enough of that around & if an infamous columnist can draw any attention at all to suffering of animals then that cant be sneered at...despite everything else

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  18. I love Liz Jones becuase she is a genuine animal lover and I would love to meet her,and if she ever reads this perhaps she might invite me to see her and animal friends
    ken farmer 85 year old

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  19. She's living in cloud cuckoo land BUT she loves her animals and that makes her daftness exusable in my book. Let's face it too - an awful lot of people read her diary article; so maybe not so daft after all!

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  20. Well, when will you chill out and enjoy things as they are. Two choices and you are wasting both of them,still you would have no topics to talk about. I think you are fortunate people tolerate you. Get real before it gets too late. Think of the old song Big Yellow Taxi.

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